Dilbert is Alive and Well!!!

> > > A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate America:
> > > "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
> > > (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
> > > "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
> > > (Lykes Lines Shipping)
> > > "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
> > > (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
> > > "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
> > > (Advertising/Marketing manager,
> > > United Parcel Service)
> > > "Doing it right is no excuse
> > > for not meeting the schedule."
> > > (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
> > > "No one will believe you solved
> > > this problem in one day!
> > > We've been working on it for months.
> > > Now go act busy for a few weeks and
> > > I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
> > > (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
> > > Quote from the Boss:
> > > "Teamwork is a lot of people doing
> > > what I say."
> > > (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
> > > My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday.
> > > He said, "That would be better for me."
> > > (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

> > > "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

> > > (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)