Subject: Fw: Dilbert is Alive and Well!!!
Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2006 10:39:21 -0700

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Dilbert is Alive and Well!!!






      A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were =
looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life =
Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes =
from the managers we work for in corporate America:


      =20
      "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the =
building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next =
Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
      (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in =
Redmond WA)



      =20
      "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we =
might encounter."
      (Lykes Lines Shipping)



      =20
      "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It =
should be used only for company business."
      (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)



      =20
      "This project is so important we can't let things that are more =
important interfere with it."
      (Advertising/Marketing manager,
      United Parcel Service)



      =20
      "Doing it right is no excuse
      for not meeting the schedule."
      (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)



      =20
      "No one will believe you solved
      this problem in one day!
      We've been working on it for months.
      Now go act busy for a few weeks and
      I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
      (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)



      =20
      Quote from the Boss:
      "Teamwork is a lot of people doing
      what I say."
      (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)



      =20
      My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. =
When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to =
miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could =
change her burial to Friday.
      He said, "That would be better for me."
      (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)



      =20
      "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not =
going to discuss it with the employees."=20
      (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)




       
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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT><BR></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite">
  <BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite">
    <BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite" align=3D"center"><FONT=20
    size=3D-1><BR></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
    <BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite" align=3D"center"><IMG =
height=3D97=20
      alt=3D"image001 12.jpg" =
src=3D"cid:001101c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D180><FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D-1><BR><BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>A magazine =
recently ran a=20
      "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit =
quotes=20
      from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were =
voted=20
      the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate=20
      America:</FONT><FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D-1><BR><BR><IMG =
height=3D150=20
      alt=3D"image002 2.jpg" =
src=3D"cid:001201c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D136></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR>&nbsp;<BR><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus>"</FONT></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>As of =
tomorrow,=20
      employees will only be able to access the building using =
individual=20
      security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and =
employees will=20
      receive their cards in two weeks."</FONT><FONT =
size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus color=3D#ff0000 size=3D+1><I>(This was the winning =
quote from=20
      Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)</I></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR><FONT face=3DVerdana><BR><BR><IMG height=3D141=20
      alt=3D"image003 3.jpg" =
src=3D"cid:001301c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D126></FONT><BR>&nbsp;<BR><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus>"</FONT></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>What I need is an exact list of specific =
unknown=20
      problems we might encounter."</FONT><FONT =
size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus color=3D#0000ff size=3D+1><I>(Lykes Lines=20
      Shipping)</I></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DVerdana=20
      size=3D+1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D-1><BR><IMG =
height=3D116=20
      alt=3D"image004 1.gif" =
src=3D"cid:001401c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D92></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR>&nbsp;<BR><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus>"</FONT></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus =
size=3D+1>E-mail is not to be=20
      used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for =
company=20
      business."</FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus =
color=3D#0000ff=20
      size=3D+1><I>(Accounting manager, Electric Boat =
Company)</I></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR><FONT face=3DVerdana><BR><BR><IMG height=3D151=20
      alt=3D"image005 2.jpg" =
src=3D"cid:001501c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D92><BR>&nbsp;<BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus>"</FONT></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>This project is so important we can't let =
things that=20
      are more important interfere with it."</FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus color=3D#0000ff=20
      size=3D+1><I>(Advertising/Marketing manager,</I></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus color=3D#0000ff =
size=3D+1><I>United=20
      Parcel Service)</I></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR><FONT=20
      face=3DVerdana><BR><BR><IMG height=3D150 alt=3Dimage006.jpg=20
      src=3D"cid:001601c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D111><BR>&nbsp;<BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus>"</FONT></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>Doing it right is no excuse</FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>for not =
meeting the=20
      schedule<I>."</I></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      color=3D#0000ff size=3D+1><I>(Plant Manager, Delco=20
      Corporation)</I></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR><FONT =
face=3DVerdana><BR><BR><IMG=20
      height=3D134 alt=3Dimage007.jpg=20
      src=3D"cid:001701c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D216><BR>&nbsp;<BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus>"</FONT></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>No one will believe you =
solved</FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>this problem =
in one=20
      day!</FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus =
size=3D+1>We've been=20
      working on it for months.</FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT=20
      face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>Now go act busy for a few weeks =
and</FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1>I'll let you =
know when it's=20
      time to tell them."</FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      color=3D#0000ff size=3D+1><I>(R&amp;D supervisor, Minnesota Mining =
and=20
      Manufacturing/3M Corp.)</I></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR><FONT=20
      face=3DVerdana><BR><BR><IMG height=3D111 alt=3D"image008 1.jpg"=20
      src=3D"cid:001801c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D192></FONT><BR>&nbsp;<BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus =
size=3D+1><B>Quote=20
      from the Boss:</B></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      size=3D+1><B>"Teamwork is a lot of people doing</B></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1><B>what I=20
      say."</B></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus =
color=3D#0000ff=20
      size=3D+1><I><B>(Marketing executive, Citrix=20
      Corporation)</B></I></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR><FONT=20
      face=3DVerdana><B><BR><BR><IMG height=3D117 alt=3D"image009 1.jpg" =

      src=3D"cid:001901c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D156></B></FONT><BR>&nbsp;<BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus =
size=3D+1><B>My=20
      sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When =
I told=20
      my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss =
work on=20
      the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her =
burial=20
      to Friday.</B></FONT><FONT size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      size=3D+1><B>He said,<I> "That would be better for =
me."</I></B></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus color=3D#0000ff=20
      size=3D+1><I><B>(Shipping executive, FTD =
Florists)</B></I></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR><FONT face=3DVerdana><B><BR><BR><IMG height=3D175=20
      alt=3D"image010 1.gif" =
src=3D"cid:001a01c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
      width=3D200></B></FONT><BR>&nbsp;</FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
    <BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite" align=3D"center"><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      size=3D-1><B>"</B></FONT><FONT face=3DPapyrus size=3D+1><B>We know =
that=20
      communication is a problem, but the company is not going to =
discuss it=20
      with the employees."&nbsp;</B></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
    <BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite" align=3D"center"><FONT =
face=3DPapyrus=20
      color=3D#0000ff size=3D+1><I><B>(Switching supervisor, AT&amp;T =
Long Lines=20
      Division)</B></I></FONT><FONT face=3DVerdana =
size=3D-1><B><BR><BR><BR><IMG=20
      height=3D203 alt=3Dimage011.gif=20
      src=3D"cid:001b01c68a59$4f153470$6401a8c0@madhouse"=20
    width=3D203></B></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
    <BLOCKQUOTE cite=3D"" type=3D"cite"><FONT =
color=3D#000080></FONT><FONT=20
      size=3D-1><BR></FONT><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS"=20
    =
color=3D#800040>&nbsp;</FONT></BLOCKQUOTE></BLOCKQUOTE></BLOCKQUOTE></BOD=
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